Today I should be analysing the practice sessions I've been watching on the Red Jenson so far, going over what could be and what so clearly shouldn't. Alas this is not the case. Instead I'm sifting through pieces of scrawl by many different hands trying to work out who to believe. This is, of course, due to the telly rights fiasco which resulted in Auntie retaining only 50% of the F1 season whilst the whole season was callously flogged off to the Rupert Murdoch empire. Bernard Ecclescakes is whole-heartedly to blame and shall from this point forward be know by this blog as The Poison Dwarf.
Mark Wilkin, honcho of much to do with F1 at the Big British Castle, has proudly stated that fans have nothing to worry about when live action isn't being shown on-screen, because instead F1 followers can read live text feeds in the BBC F1 website. Holy crap somebody punch me! Is this guy a fool or a complete reverse-penis?
Thanks for that Mark. You keep cashing your paycheque and we'll all wait for your next pearls of wisdom.
Perhaps next you'll tell us that it'll be ok missing this years race from Monza because the BBC Food website will be running an F1 special on making pasta?
As for the coverage brought to us from Sky, the team looks to be based losely around the cast of True Blood. There's a great deal of make-up and sex-ooze going on for my liking.
This won't surprise anyone who was born in the seventies and watched Sky pilfer all the football from the Beeb and ITV. Then the cricket went sideways. Rallying was squished on to Channel 5 and the BTCC moved swiftly over to ITV4 where I think it remains, but nobody talks about it.
From World of Sport and Gran(d)stand to make-over city and a whole new breed of presenter - akin to a London bar person: pretty but too fucking stupid to do the job properly.
Anyway - in todays first first practice Lewis finished just 2 hundredths behind Buttface.
In todays second practice The Cobbler destroyed the field amongst the puddles setting an impressive lap time of 1m29.183s. Lewis was only just behind him with 1m33.252s - only just behind.
Everyone else drove. Well we think they did but nobody so far can confirm that. Seems only a handful of fans coughed up the £610 a year cost of switching to Sky for the complete F1 season.
We'll bring you more news as soon as we find out about it from someone down the pub.
