Lewis moved from McLaren to Mercedes to start 2013 with The Silver Arrows. This was a great move - McLaren built a great car for 2012 but acted like a complete cluster fuck in the pits and on the wall, so much so they effectively gave Lewis the championship and then took it away, swapping it for a cold tea and a smack in the face with Whitmarsh's own soiled underslacks.
So off to Mercedes to partner Nico for the start of 2013.
We like this. Rosburger's lifted his game and Lewis is being kept on it. An exciting duo to keep each other honest. Funny how Buttface couldn't ever provide that? Maybe he's crap? You heard it here first.
Monday, 6 May 2013
Friday, 16 March 2012
A new season but nothing to watch
Today I should be analysing the practice sessions I've been watching on the Red Jenson so far, going over what could be and what so clearly shouldn't. Alas this is not the case. Instead I'm sifting through pieces of scrawl by many different hands trying to work out who to believe. This is, of course, due to the telly rights fiasco which resulted in Auntie retaining only 50% of the F1 season whilst the whole season was callously flogged off to the Rupert Murdoch empire. Bernard Ecclescakes is whole-heartedly to blame and shall from this point forward be know by this blog as The Poison Dwarf.
Mark Wilkin, honcho of much to do with F1 at the Big British Castle, has proudly stated that fans have nothing to worry about when live action isn't being shown on-screen, because instead F1 followers can read live text feeds in the BBC F1 website. Holy crap somebody punch me! Is this guy a fool or a complete reverse-penis?
Thanks for that Mark. You keep cashing your paycheque and we'll all wait for your next pearls of wisdom.
Perhaps next you'll tell us that it'll be ok missing this years race from Monza because the BBC Food website will be running an F1 special on making pasta?
As for the coverage brought to us from Sky, the team looks to be based losely around the cast of True Blood. There's a great deal of make-up and sex-ooze going on for my liking.
This won't surprise anyone who was born in the seventies and watched Sky pilfer all the football from the Beeb and ITV. Then the cricket went sideways. Rallying was squished on to Channel 5 and the BTCC moved swiftly over to ITV4 where I think it remains, but nobody talks about it.
From World of Sport and Gran(d)stand to make-over city and a whole new breed of presenter - akin to a London bar person: pretty but too fucking stupid to do the job properly.
Anyway - in todays first first practice Lewis finished just 2 hundredths behind Buttface.
In todays second practice The Cobbler destroyed the field amongst the puddles setting an impressive lap time of 1m29.183s. Lewis was only just behind him with 1m33.252s - only just behind.
Everyone else drove. Well we think they did but nobody so far can confirm that. Seems only a handful of fans coughed up the £610 a year cost of switching to Sky for the complete F1 season.
We'll bring you more news as soon as we find out about it from someone down the pub.
Mark Wilkin, honcho of much to do with F1 at the Big British Castle, has proudly stated that fans have nothing to worry about when live action isn't being shown on-screen, because instead F1 followers can read live text feeds in the BBC F1 website. Holy crap somebody punch me! Is this guy a fool or a complete reverse-penis?
Thanks for that Mark. You keep cashing your paycheque and we'll all wait for your next pearls of wisdom.
Perhaps next you'll tell us that it'll be ok missing this years race from Monza because the BBC Food website will be running an F1 special on making pasta?
As for the coverage brought to us from Sky, the team looks to be based losely around the cast of True Blood. There's a great deal of make-up and sex-ooze going on for my liking.
This won't surprise anyone who was born in the seventies and watched Sky pilfer all the football from the Beeb and ITV. Then the cricket went sideways. Rallying was squished on to Channel 5 and the BTCC moved swiftly over to ITV4 where I think it remains, but nobody talks about it.
From World of Sport and Gran(d)stand to make-over city and a whole new breed of presenter - akin to a London bar person: pretty but too fucking stupid to do the job properly.
Anyway - in todays first first practice Lewis finished just 2 hundredths behind Buttface.
In todays second practice The Cobbler destroyed the field amongst the puddles setting an impressive lap time of 1m29.183s. Lewis was only just behind him with 1m33.252s - only just behind.
Everyone else drove. Well we think they did but nobody so far can confirm that. Seems only a handful of fans coughed up the £610 a year cost of switching to Sky for the complete F1 season.
We'll bring you more news as soon as we find out about it from someone down the pub.
Friday, 10 June 2011
Canadia at last!
First off let's give a massive allaboutlewis congratulatory thumbs up for @checoperez17 for recovering so quickly from one of the most shuddersome shunts seen at Monaco in several years. Good on him!
Last weeks race escaped the reviewing eyes of our team - and it's not because we're black either.
Moving on quickly then let's talk about Canada. Not the country itself, famed for mounted police, hockey scholarships and Molson beer, but the race track at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal. Yes that's a bit Frenchy-sounding but so too is a great deal of La Canadia.
This circuit is a proper good'un. It's like Monaco in that it's a street circuit, but here the surface is a lot lot smoother and doesn't normally prove to be such a butt-biter. It's a track more suited to drivers with a keen sense of rhythm; the corners flow beautifully from one to the next but only if the drivers can balance the throttle and brakes without jerking too much. The rules here are simple: hesitate and you're in the wall, deviate and you're in the wall; touch another car and you're in the wall. Drive well however and this place will produce some intense, fast and thrilling racing.
DRS and KERS should add to an already thrill-packed weekend. The tight corners are extremely tight so the extra horsepower boost available will aid drivers' exit speeds. As long as the DRS zone has been plonked in the right place there should be plenty of opportunities for slipstreaming and passing into the first sector. Anyway - let's see how it pans out.
In first practice at the moment with 34 minutes to go and HOT OFF THE PRESS it's the young gun Sebarstian Vettle who ploughs his Red Bull car straight into the barriers! Oh noooooooo! Poor laddy!
Last weeks race escaped the reviewing eyes of our team - and it's not because we're black either.
Moving on quickly then let's talk about Canada. Not the country itself, famed for mounted police, hockey scholarships and Molson beer, but the race track at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal. Yes that's a bit Frenchy-sounding but so too is a great deal of La Canadia.
This circuit is a proper good'un. It's like Monaco in that it's a street circuit, but here the surface is a lot lot smoother and doesn't normally prove to be such a butt-biter. It's a track more suited to drivers with a keen sense of rhythm; the corners flow beautifully from one to the next but only if the drivers can balance the throttle and brakes without jerking too much. The rules here are simple: hesitate and you're in the wall, deviate and you're in the wall; touch another car and you're in the wall. Drive well however and this place will produce some intense, fast and thrilling racing.
DRS and KERS should add to an already thrill-packed weekend. The tight corners are extremely tight so the extra horsepower boost available will aid drivers' exit speeds. As long as the DRS zone has been plonked in the right place there should be plenty of opportunities for slipstreaming and passing into the first sector. Anyway - let's see how it pans out.
In first practice at the moment with 34 minutes to go and HOT OFF THE PRESS it's the young gun Sebarstian Vettle who ploughs his Red Bull car straight into the barriers! Oh noooooooo! Poor laddy!
Thursday, 26 May 2011
Monaco takes two to the trash
Hispania and Mercedes both lost drivers to the edges of the track at Monaco in this morning's first practice session.
Vitantonio took the plunge first as he got a little wobbly under braking for the first chicane after the tunnel section, spearheading the front of his car into the armco. To the untrained eye his coming together with the barrier might look as if he turned in too early for the left-hander - but at All About Lewis we can confirm that it was the driver's fault entirely. 'Ant' loves his chocolate, as we can all see, and by tuning into the normally surpressed pit radio we learned that while driving through the comparitive darkness of the tunnel section the Hispania driver was sneakily eating a finger of Twix - something he wanted to hide as he emerged into the sunlight. He allegedly threw the half eaten snack down into the footwell where it became lodged under the brake pedal. Without even braking pressure 'Tonio had no choice but to throw the front of his car to the side. After taking off the front wing and biffing up the nose cone he parked up safely out of the way. In what looked like a stalling manouvre he spent more time than usual replacing his steering wheel before abandoning his car; probably looking to see if he could retrieve the offending confectionary.
The next driver to lose sight of the treacherous narrow streets of Monaco was Germany's hero in a half shell Michael "The Cobbler" Shoemaker.
After being held up (not at gunpoint) momentarily towards the end of a lap, the Godfather of ESP gave it the beans down the pit straight, only to come a right cropper at turn 1. Viewers of the BBC's "Jenson Rouge" channel rode onboard at the time of the accident to watch as the glaring goof unfolded.
It appeared that Michael's cold brakes, cold tyres and the bumpy road surface all ganged up on him in one foul swoop. Keen viewers were able to see his realisation that his entry speed was too much for the components at that particular time and at the last minute he changed his mind and tried to steer into the run-off area at the end of the straight. Sadly momentum and gravity seemed to have planned his fate for this session and the ex-Fezza champion was planted quite abruptly into the tyres. We'll have to wait and see just what the damage is to the chassis and suspension of the Grey Goose, and to see if the diff is intact. No snacks were reported to have been seen in Michael's car.
Massa looks to be a great shape this weekend - his practice times were among the fastest and he looked good throughout.
Alfonzo the great race-cheating whinging moaning feckless card trick-peddling forehead-fungus bringer of only slightly more up-beatedness than Wibba on a good day double World Champion Ferrari Life Sentence Slave harbinger of muck was looking insatiable on track. He threw the Scuderia around the swimming pool section like a man posessed - we hate to say it but he actually looked damn good throughout.
Lewis put in some consistent fast laps and led the field for a time. What's significant is he was constantly faster than Buttface. We like.
Paul Di Resta put in some good laps considering the last time he drove this circuit was in 2005 when he was 9 years old.
Wibba was seen crying his eyes out at the back of the Red Bull garage because the team only gave him 1 gear to work with. Well Mark that's what you get for being a miserable twat. Surely Seb could hook him up to get his dick sucked this weekend?
Oh - talking of the Red Bull number 1, the man Kettle went fastest. But who gives a fuck about that?
Vitantonio took the plunge first as he got a little wobbly under braking for the first chicane after the tunnel section, spearheading the front of his car into the armco. To the untrained eye his coming together with the barrier might look as if he turned in too early for the left-hander - but at All About Lewis we can confirm that it was the driver's fault entirely. 'Ant' loves his chocolate, as we can all see, and by tuning into the normally surpressed pit radio we learned that while driving through the comparitive darkness of the tunnel section the Hispania driver was sneakily eating a finger of Twix - something he wanted to hide as he emerged into the sunlight. He allegedly threw the half eaten snack down into the footwell where it became lodged under the brake pedal. Without even braking pressure 'Tonio had no choice but to throw the front of his car to the side. After taking off the front wing and biffing up the nose cone he parked up safely out of the way. In what looked like a stalling manouvre he spent more time than usual replacing his steering wheel before abandoning his car; probably looking to see if he could retrieve the offending confectionary.
The next driver to lose sight of the treacherous narrow streets of Monaco was Germany's hero in a half shell Michael "The Cobbler" Shoemaker.
After being held up (not at gunpoint) momentarily towards the end of a lap, the Godfather of ESP gave it the beans down the pit straight, only to come a right cropper at turn 1. Viewers of the BBC's "Jenson Rouge" channel rode onboard at the time of the accident to watch as the glaring goof unfolded.
It appeared that Michael's cold brakes, cold tyres and the bumpy road surface all ganged up on him in one foul swoop. Keen viewers were able to see his realisation that his entry speed was too much for the components at that particular time and at the last minute he changed his mind and tried to steer into the run-off area at the end of the straight. Sadly momentum and gravity seemed to have planned his fate for this session and the ex-Fezza champion was planted quite abruptly into the tyres. We'll have to wait and see just what the damage is to the chassis and suspension of the Grey Goose, and to see if the diff is intact. No snacks were reported to have been seen in Michael's car.
Massa looks to be a great shape this weekend - his practice times were among the fastest and he looked good throughout.
Alfonzo the great race-cheating whinging moaning feckless card trick-peddling forehead-fungus bringer of only slightly more up-beatedness than Wibba on a good day double World Champion Ferrari Life Sentence Slave harbinger of muck was looking insatiable on track. He threw the Scuderia around the swimming pool section like a man posessed - we hate to say it but he actually looked damn good throughout.
Lewis put in some consistent fast laps and led the field for a time. What's significant is he was constantly faster than Buttface. We like.
Paul Di Resta put in some good laps considering the last time he drove this circuit was in 2005 when he was 9 years old.
Wibba was seen crying his eyes out at the back of the Red Bull garage because the team only gave him 1 gear to work with. Well Mark that's what you get for being a miserable twat. Surely Seb could hook him up to get his dick sucked this weekend?
Oh - talking of the Red Bull number 1, the man Kettle went fastest. But who gives a fuck about that?
Friday, 20 May 2011
Adrian Sutil in a spot of bother
Buenos dias F1 fans! The first practice session has just started and I’m sure Mr Pepps will be filling us in on all the action.
Just a quick post to kick off the racing weekend....Milla’s blog has been speaking to Adrian Sutil following the confirmation that he is facing legal action for an incident in a nightclub following the race in Beijing. "It is a difficult time, but there are always difficult situations, but I have to live with it" he said. "I'm here in Barcelona looking forward to the race and hoping for a really good race weekend". As long supporters of the German driver, all of us at It’s All About Lewis are fully behind Adrian.
In other news, one of the drivers we’ve not always been so supportive of has signed a new contract to race with Ferrari until the end of the 2016 season. And no, it’s not Massa.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
F1: Red carpet alert
Today Milla's Blog can exclusively reveal that the eagerly anticipated documentary Senna will be released in the UK on 3rd June.
We'll be at the world premier and will bring you all the gossip from the red carpet.
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